Duchess of Fork | Guest Post: Life with Two Under Two

Hi, I?m Colleen and I blog at Moments Pass Slow.

I?m so excited to be here guest posting for Molly while she prepares to welcome her second baby into the world! I recently became a mother to my second baby in less than 18 months! My first, Lyle, was born in August of 2011 and our new baby girl, Tenley, arrived at the end of January 2013, making them 17 months and 1 week apart. Yes we are crazy, we are well aware! When I found out we were expecting I scoured blogs, twitter, and the internet in general to find survival tips for two kids under two and I?m hoping I can help some of you (especially Molly!) prepare for the next big step in your life.

? Accept and plan for help! ? We are very lucky to have both of our families physically very close to us so we have built in helpers ? and boy have we been using them. Don?t forget that the grandparents WANT to play with the toddler and hold the newborn, call them, ask them to come over, they won?t say no! If you don?t have family close by ? accept those offers from friends of ?I could stop by and drop off dinner? ? simply respond: ?Okay, that would be great! Wednesday would be best for us.? Plain and simply, accept the help offered to you but on your own terms. I know it sounds selfish but it is not, this person is offering to help because they want to but they have no clue how to help, you need to tell them. If you have family coming from out of town, be sure they are coming *after* your husband goes back to work (if he is lucky enough to have a paternity leave). It is silly to have your husband, your parents, and your in laws all there at the same time!

? Relax, you?ve done this before ? For me, breastfeeding Lyle was a struggle. Every single feeding was hard. Every spit up. Every wake up. Every 2 or 3 or 4 hours I dreaded it. Then, I gave myself a break at 12 weeks and said I was done, it was stressing me out so badly. And after that ? everything went up hill, I relaxed, he relaxed, we enjoyed each other, life was good. I decided with Tenley that I would let things happen, if breastfeeding worked, it worked, if it didn?t, I wouldn?t beat myself up about it ? and guess where we are? At 6 weeks Tenley is nursing like a champ and gaining weight like crazy, and I?m relaxed. This is just my story about breastfeeding but I think it is more about the idea that I knew a little more what to expect. I know that newborns hate baths, so I let my mom do it so I don?t have to hear her scream. I remember changing diapers with every wake up, so I set up a diaper station on my bedside table and literally change the overnight diapers on my bed. (We aren?t at the poopsplosion stage yet!) So just go with the flow, you?ll remember things you thought you forgot and it will all come back to you.

? Take a maternity leave ? This is fairly obvious to those of you who work but this is also for the SAHM crowd ? think of those first 12 weeks as that ?fourth trimester?. Let it be said that I believe all new moms should get a 12 week maternity leave, I do realized not everyone is lucky enough to get this from their company (don?t even get me started on the US maternity leave policy or lack there of) but I believe every new baby deserves 12 weeks (at least) with their mom. The first four weeks are to do nothing more then cuddle, play, eat and sleep. Hopefully this is the stage where you have a lot of help with the toddler but do not forget to cuddle and play with them as well! The next four weeks are to get yourselves into a bit of a groove. You?re hopefully feeling well enough to get out of the house a bit more. Go to the grocery store, the library, your friends house ? get out! Move around, figure it out, but then go back home and continue the cuddle, play, eat, sleep thing. Then those last four weeks ? have FUN with your new baby and your toddler ? try to plan activities for your days, really go do fun things. This is the stage where your newborn will still be sitting in the car seat somewhat happy or you can babywear and you?re able to enjoy some time as your new family of four! One other side note here: if your toddler is in daycare/preschool/MDO anything like that ? KEEP them going!! They are happy there, it is their routine, they need the activity that you can?t provide while caring for a newborn. If they are there full time you can take them out early a few days here and there, but as a general rule, they are there and they are happy and changing things up will only confuse them!

? Shower at night, with wine ? If your spouse is anything like mine they are working long days and wishing they could be home with you and your little ones. So when they get home, give them that gift of time with their babies and hand them over!! haha! But in all seriousness, once things are settled and your toddler is in bed and you?re trying to figure out how to get the newborn to sleep ? take 15 minutes to yourself and get in the shower. You?ll get to take a few deep breaths and relax before what hopefully won?t be too rough of a night. Bring a plastic cup with a few small sips of wine to help you remember that you are human, this is hard work, and you deserve it.

There are a few survival tips for two under two, if you want to follow our crazy life please do on twitter or instagram ? momentspassslow!

Best Wishes to Molly, The Duke, Julia and baby-to-be!

Source: http://www.duchessoffork.com/2013/03/guest-post-life-with-two-under-two/

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